Some people are not my friends

Many people ask me time and time again, what is the problem between myself and PWF Magazine editor Dominic Jones? After all, Panjabe is an internet sensation and boffo dude largely because of the exposure permitted by this magazine! But you must understand, this is a matter of kindness and respect. I come here to your country, from Bombay, India, or wherever the hell I am from, and unlike the Iron Sheik, I do not do things old country way. I want to be a friend to America and the Americans, and largely, I have succeeded. But Dominic Jones, he is no friend of mine. This man dared to criticize my writings and journalistic stylings, because I disagreed with his un-thought-out, pedestrian, and all-around uninspiring opinions. A war of words began that, I am shamed to say, I may in fact have escalated rather than helped to decline. But he deserved it after daring to refer to me as a Pokemon!

Who does he think he is dealing with here? I am Panjabe Ishboo, Boffo Dude! I am not an animated creature that travels in small red-and-white balls, being released only on occasion to battle for the amusement of slow-witted children! I have written about the professional wrestling for many years now, and am proud to say that I have made an amazing sum of three hundred American dollars this year alone with my writings! Let's see you top that, Dominic Jones! I am Panjabe Ishboo!

Aside from him, everyone is great.